and now... late night thoughts.

it's JULY ELEVENTH. 2012. ohmygosh time is flying by all the time
my kids are growing up too fast.
the last two years have gone by especially quickly, I feel.
our daughter is five years old.
our son is two years old.
the all-consuming nature of parenting means I feel like I've missed out on two years of daughter's growth. she turned 3, son was born. now daughter is 5, son is 2. and they keep going and growing. so eager to accomplish the next thing, reach the next milestone. but the curse of youth is not realizing it is so fleeting. being five or being two is awesome! you only get to be five or two once! then you will forever be older than that. now I am 32. that's almost really actually old. to some people that is already actually old. I'm In My Thirties. that is officially adult, for sure. no longer shiftless youth or confused young person or just a young adult figuring stuff out. now I'm In My Thirties. and I think that is supposed to mean that I either have my stuff sorted out or I'm fully resigned to never figuring stuff out.
that's all societal baggage anyway.. all the billshit about where and who and what a person Should be by some arbitrary age- that's meaningless.
what is indisputable however is that my children are growing up. and every day they get bigger, bolder, smarter. they are growing up and out of my arms. and I want to hold on to them here and now for a while. if we could just make each year last two years that might feel like a pace I could cope with. which may explain why I still feel like I'm sixteen a lot of the time..

staying up too late again.